So, I struggle with spending money. Always have. Probably because I was a single parent way before I was really a grown-up. I had to make big decisions on a Ramen-noodle budget, so now? I feel a deep spiritual connection to a clearance rack.
Yard sales? Count me in. Estate sales? Treasure troves. That magical moment when you find a $1 dress at a secondhand store and someone compliments it? Bliss.
“Thanks! Got it for a buck!” — and I will absolutely say it with pride.
Paying full price for anything physically pains me. I don’t think I even know what full price feels like. If it’s not discounted, marked down, or coupon-coded, I don’t want it.
Now… my man? He’s built differently. If I’ve heard “Buy once, cry once” one time, I’ve heard it a thousand. And while I understand the logic, I grew up in a house where the vacation fund was a jar of loose change we filled all year long. I learned early that numbers in the bank > stuff I could touch.
And yes, I’ve carried that same broke-but-resourceful mindset into Gielinor.
Now that I’ve finally hit a point in my Ironman grind where the fruits of my labor are visible, I actually have some nice things.
Main account players — keep your opinions to yourselves. My gear is NICE:
- Rune armor
- Red d’hide
- Mystic robes
Do you know how long it took me to get these things?!
The day I finally had enough GP to buy the right half of the dragon square shield — 750,000 coins, by the way — was both nauseating and exhilarating.
Same price tag as the Dwarf Multicannon. Apparently, 750k is my financial trauma threshold.
I was literally sweating. And if my boyfriend hadn’t been in my ear with, “Just do it already,” I’d probably still be rocking a mithril kite shield with the left half in my bank… dreaming of a match.
So, why am I telling you this?
Because I think I’m about to make another anxiety inducing purchase:
The Dwarf Multicannon.
Yep. another 750,000 hard-earned GP. Gone. Just like that. All in hopes that my Slayer tasks will go faster and my dopamine hits will come sooner.
Right now, I’m standing in Falador, staring at my bank balance.
Three million GP.
That might not sound like much to you high-rollers, but for me? That’s a lot of battlestaff crafting and high alching.
I remember when I had to borrow GP just to buy staples.
My man carried me virtually just like he does in real life. Love that for me.
So here I am, at a crossroads.
To buy… or not to buy?
Is Nulodion running a 4th of July sale? Doubt it.
Can I talk him into a gently used, open-box cannon with a payment plan? Probably not.
Screw it.
I’m going for it.
Aberrant spectres, here I come.
But first… gotta hit the Motherload mine. Cannonballs don’t make themselves.
Twice the trauma, double the firepower. Let’s go.
That’s all for now, folks. This content was proudly brought to you by:
Caffeine. Crying. And a half-functioning WiFi signal.
👉 Follow for more chaos