A Lazy Saturday and a Dangerous Question: I Love Our RuneScape Love Story.
It’s been a while. Life’s been lifing. School is back in session, and August through November feels like a high-speed chase through the wilderness with Odablock on your ass getting ready to live stream your demise—lesson plans, soccer cleats, and drive-thru dinners (yeah right, think my family would go for that?). Everyone is still here. The guy is still sexy. The girl is still busy. The boy is still feral.
My man has been busy being awesome, I’ve been busy surviving, and the days have been long while the nights somehow got shorter.
So when we finally scored a much-needed weekend off—post-soccer tournament, of course—we took full advantage of a lazy Saturday. I was gaming, he was strumming his guitar (cue the heart-eyes), and for once, no one was taking ambulance rides, hiding poop behind the toilet, or asking “When are you cooking?”
In a rare moment of calm and curiosity, I asked my boyfriend a seemingly innocent question:
“When did I make my RuneScape account?”
Sounds harmless, right? Just some nostalgic curiosity.
Wrong.
The Stats I Never Meant to See
I wasn’t asking for anything deep. Just a date. A quick “Oh, it was last spring” and we’d move on. I was really just mentally giving myself a pat on the back. I feel like I have made significant gains since playing and am ready to graduate from “noob” status.
He casually checks the account info. Then—because he’s that kind of gamer—he decides to check my total time played. Why? No one knows. I didn’t ask for this emotional damage.
**RuneScape tracks how many hours you’ve spent in-game- in case you were not aware that was a thing.
As of 7:05 p.m., I had officially logged:
49 days and 5 hours.
That’s 1,182 hours. And yes—he rounded it up to 1,200 faster than I could teleport out of embarrassment.
Math- The Ultimate Betrayal
You may be realizing that I asked him “When did I make my account?” Not “how long have I played since making my account?”
Sure, 1,200 hours sounds like a lot, but context is everything, right? That is where the math comes in. He knows how these things work. While I am sitting there debating my next slayer task block, he whips out the calculator to show me what 1200 hours REALLY looks like….because he also checked the date I created my account…
This is where perspective hit like getting poisoned mid-boss fight and realizing you brought super restores instead of super anti-poison (to be fair-they are both pink).
How long have I had my account?
Drumroll… 399 days.
That’s 1 year and 34 days.
What is the math on that?
12.33%- that is the math.
Over 10% of my year was spent grinding XP.
Still doesn’t sound like a lot right? Not really. I mean, what is 12% really?
So I asked the obvious follow-up:
“How many hours have you played?”
This man logs into his main account—his pride and joy, a beautiful relic that’s been with him for 16 years and 7 months. He pulls his total time:
🕹 49 days and 16 hours.
That’s 1,192 hours.
Ten more hours than me.
I have logged almost the same amount of RuneScape time as he has… in a little over a year… compared to his entire 17-year RuneScape career.
Let that sink in.
In My Defense- which is currently level 73
Let’s be real here. The majority of that year, he was either working third shift or gone. I was left to my own devices—literally.
I kept the kids alive.
I worked full-time.
And then I gamed.
I wasn’t out here running the streets.
I was running quests.
I wasn’t out here making bad decisions.
I was making death runes.
Also, let’s not forget my Christmas gift was a gaming setup, and I have clearly put it to good use.
So, Who's the Noob Now?
I may not have his veteran cape, but I’ve got the XP to prove I’m no casual. Turns out, this RuneScape relationship has a lot more logged hours than I ever expected.
And honestly? I’d do it all again—especially if he’s nearby, playing guitar while I mine essence at GOTR and pretend I’m not ignoring laundry.
If you are curious how much of your life you’ve traded for XP-Check At Your Own Risk