Before I was a gamer, a girlfriend, or the proud owner of a desk setup that looks like it could launch a satellite—I was a teacher.

And not just any teacher. For over a decade, I’ve been a special education teacher working with students who have emotional and behavioral disabilities.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with that, here’s the honest breakdown:

I wake up every day and choose to love the kids that most people have already written off.

The “difficult” ones.
The “unteachables.”
The “problems.”

The kids who get kicked out of classrooms, written up before lunch, and whispered about in staff lounges.
Those are my people.

☕ But Is It Easy?

Absolutely not. Some days, it feels like I’ve been emotionally tackled by 15 NFL players before 9 a.m.

These kids are loud. Emotional. Reactive. Raw.
But also: funny. Honest. Brave. Incredibly misunderstood.

They challenge me in every way possible—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and on days when I’ve skipped breakfast—physically too.

But here’s the thing:
It’s also the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.

There is no better feeling than watching a child who’s been labeled “bad” or “broken” finally feel safe. Or heard. Or successful. I live for those moments. They are the real-life equivalent of a rare drop from a boss you’ve been grinding for weeks.
And when it hits? Pure dopamine.

🎮 Enter: RuneScape

Now… teaching is my first passion. But even passions can wear you down.

So, at the end of a particularly exhausting day—after de-escalating meltdowns, rewriting IEPs, explaining for the 9th time why throwing scissors is not a coping strategy—I come home, sit down at my computer, and do something completely pointless and soothing:

Grinding XP.
Pixel by pixel. Click by click. Mind completely numbed in the best possible way.

For an hour or two, I’m not a teacher, a mom, or a problem-solver. I’m just a hooded character in a fantasy world mining coal and making chain bodies. And for that brief time?
That’s enough.

🙃 But Wait—There’s More

Let me set the scene:

I’ve just taken off my shoes (finally). I’m staring at the screen, zoning out, trying to restore my sanity after a day of absolute chaos… and from somewhere down the hall, I hear the sound that sends a chill down my spine:

“Mom, what’s for dinner?”

No.

Not today.

Today, I cannot make another single decision. Not even between rice or pasta.
Not even between takeout or cereal.

My decision points have been spent.
My mental inventory is full.
I am AFK in real life.

💬 Why I’m Writing This

Because maybe someone else out there gets it.

Maybe you’re a teacher who gives your all and still feels like it’s not enough.
Maybe you’re a mom who loves her family fiercely but just needs everyone to STOP TALKING for 30 minutes.
Maybe you’re new to gaming and wondering if it’s weird how much peace you get from doing virtual chores in a digital world.

It’s not weird. It’s necessary.
And you’re not alone.

So tonight, I’ll keep choosing to show up for my students. I’ll keep choosing love for the kids who need it most.
And I’ll keep logging in after bedtime to quietly rob wealthy citizens in Civitas illa Fortis while the world asks just a little too much of me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pickpocket a guard and pretend it’s not my teenager asking me for $40 and a ride to the mall.
— AFK for sanity